What's life??

I am so tired of living my life
so tired of being a mother and a wife
so tired of scolding my child and quarrel with my spouse
every minute and every single day
I just want to walk out with no worries on my head
To a place where I can relax and live alone

These days, Eili is really getting out of hand. She’s really testing my patience which I had little left, every taurean had limited patience and we snap at every single things. She’s refusing instructions and causing me to lose my appetite every dinner time. Yes no doubt she’s cranky after school but to make her finish her dinner without any drama every day is impossible. I have to bring out the cane to make sure she don’t spill the rice, she don’t hit the bowl with spoon, she don’t gag her food out (which she did on purpose), she don’t walk around the house before she finished her dinner or sing/talk when she’s eating. Grrrrr...Maybe I should just let her be, let her play with the food, walk away from the table after a spoonful of rice.....Maybe.... Rushing home to cook after work is already draining me and to further deal with a cranky kid at home…sigh…

Then that’s this bigger kid of mine who is after 12 years still driving me nuts and driving me up the wall, not the good way though. He has become argumentative and is not showering me with any emotional support. Where’s the thoughtful and sweet guy I know?? It’s seems he must win or argue in every talking session we had and this is making me so lazy to even strike a conversation with him at times. And there are topics of housechores too and I don’t even need to elaborate further on that. I guess life will be much easier if we have better financial support probably will lessen arguments during certain topics. I am just like any other woman, I need constant hugs, constant assurance, constant care and attention OR am I too demanding??? If I am demanding, I’ll probably ask for a SUV car, a highrise condo, a $1000 monthly allowance, a 3 carat diamond etc. So I guess I am reasonable right?

Sigh…maybe it’s e pills I am taking that are making affecting my hormones. Turning me into a bubbly person this sec and a temperamental person another sec. I really felt like leaving everything behind, go into hiding and not think of my kid’s development, financial problem or relationship problems. Just only ME, ME and ME!